This All About Our Self

The second meeting of Affective Education was talking about self – awareness, self – esteem, self – confidence, and self – management of emotion. In this session we were asked to know our self better. So all of thing in this session was about our self. First we were asked about how we aware of our self, how we aware of something changed from us. The example was Ms. Caecil gave us a piece of wood to be put in our shoes and stand with it. It firstly felt strange, I mean there was something else in your shoes which can affect the way you walked or stand. So what could we do? Just shouting and keep complaining that there was something on our shoes? No. What we have to do was take the shoes off, take the wood and wear your shoes again. So what was the purpose of this? Well, just think that it was done to increase our self – awareness. How come? Well, somehow we were not really aware of our self. Somehow we just keep doing things without thinking the effect. Somehow we do not care with our health. Somehow we just do not be grateful and thankful for everything God gives to us. Somehow we just start loving our self when we start to sick. Yeahh, somehow.

These examples show how well we aware to our self, and it shows that we do not aware with our self. Well, self – awareness is not

only about physical self – awareness, but also about academic and social self – awareness. So how well do I know yourself? Whom the person knows you the best? Well, the person knows me the best is of course my self. Why? Because I am the one who know what are the best things for my life. I am the one who could define what I want to do, and what I do not. I am the one who know what i want to be and what I did not. I am the one who knows my self the best. Yes, I am. Not the others. I know what I am good at and what I am not good at. I know my strengthen and my weakness. I know that I am good at singing and dancing, I know that I am able to make a good writing, I know that I can deal with children but I am not good at public speaking. I enjoy listening to music and reading a novel on my own bedroom. I enjoy writing a fiction story. I enjoy sitting in the corner of the class rather than in the front row. But I do not enjoy speaking or having conversation with a lot of people. I do not enjoy to be a center of attention.

“So what do you like the most from yourself?” Well, thing I like the most from myself is everything! I like everything from myself. I do believe that everything from myself is the best thing God gives to me. So when you asked what I do like the most from myself is of course my self. Well, it might be a little bit arrogant, but when you do not start loving yourself, who else will love yourself? :D

The three adjectives which describe me well are quiet, sensitive, and expressive. I actually am a quiet person. I do not really like to talk to people in face to face. Well, you might think I am a bit clumsy. Yes, I am. I do not really know how to start the conversation, and well, I just love to be silent. I am also a bit sensitive with feeling. does not really mean I love crying or easy to be touched, but I am sensitive with people changes of feeling. I know when someone get angry of something, I know when someone in love, and I know when someone hate another person, I know it. I am sensitive of that. I am also an expressive person. It is hard for me to hide my feeling, for example when I get mad, I might show an anger face; or I might be embarrassed when I meet someone I admire. I easily show my true expression, and I cannot be a poker face. I cannot, at all. That is why somehow I need a self management of emotion. I need to control how I show my facial expression because not all of people can accept how I show my facial expression.

Talking about future and goal are something really interesting. If you ask me what is the goal of my life, I will answer that I just want to make my mother happy. I just want to make my dearest person feel the happiness. “But don’t you want to earn lot of money?” Of course I want it too. Making a lot of money is happiness, but making people around you happy is a super happiness. That is a quote from Muhammad Yunus, a Nobel prize winner. And I just realize that those words are true! What is the purpose of making money when you cannot make people around you happy? What is the purpose of making money when you have no one to share with? Nothing, right? So when you ask me what my goal is, I just want to make my dearest people happy. But it will be different when the question is what you want to achieve or do in your life. What I want to do in my life is making an educational foundation for children, especially for those who have disabilities. I want to make a school for them, I want to accommodate their needs. Besides that, I want to get my master degree and be a lecturer in one state university in Indonesia. I also want to be an entertainer, since I am good enough at singing and dancing. I can make a dance class, maybe. Well, it will not be easy for me to achieve that. I know it will be hard for a twenty years old girl to do that. But since I already pictured what I want to achieve, I am sure that slowly, all of my dreams will come true.